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Down In The Dumps

Feeling super dejected today.

I’ve found something I really want to do for a career, that will cost me little or no money to train for. But to get into Uni I need to go back to college and basically prove to them that I am clever enough to take the degree course I want.

I know why they do this, it’s to separate the wheat from the chaff (so to speak) – if you can’t hack the level of work on the short course, you sure as hell won’t be able to cope with a full degree. But for people like myself, it’s a bit of a kick in the teeth.

I have qualifications and certificates. I have life experience. I have enthusiasm and drive. But this isn’t good enough. I need a piece of paper to say I’m good enough. This piece of paper costs over £3000. Now that’s just robbery.

The problem I have is that I could do this course, easily, and get onto the degree programme. It would be no hardship from an academic point of view. I know I have the nous to get it done, and get it done well. But the problem is my kids.

If I go back to school, who’s going to look after them? I can get a loan to cover the course fees, but I doubt we qualify for any other kind of financial help, so how would I pay for any childcare? How will I pay for travel to the college? How will I collect the kids later on? My partner can’t cut his hours at work any further – we’re already broke enough as it is.

I mean, fucking hell. The government want people to study and get good jobs to contribute to society, but I don’t see them doing much to help little old me. I’ve waffled about this before, I know.

It just so happens that my family fall into that awful middle ground – we work our asses off for not enough money. But it’s too much money to be eligible for welfare, yet not enough to really live on. We can’t save, we can’t go on holiday, we can’t buy a house. We exist on the bread line and hope we don’t fall down the hole of destitution.

What the fuck are we meant to do?