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Friday Fictioneers 13/3/2015

photo by Sandra Cook

photo by Sandra Cook

Silvery grass now crisp underfoot in the morning air. Hot clouds of breath from the boy at my side.

With no overcoat, this child, unshod and raggedy, appears a plaything too old, worn, forgotten.

I glance down. Soon, all will be finished.

Walking further, the boy stumbles, his toe hits a rock. I hear the anguish escape his blue lips. He whimpers.

Underneath matted hair, a single tear falls.

We reach the glassy edge of the stream.

He does not struggle as I plunge his head into the frigid water.

His life trickling away in its flow.

It is done.

 

 

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53 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers 13/3/2015

    • Thanks Rochelle. Hoping to use these prompts to get me in the swing of writing properly (again). Interesting you see the killer as coldblooded – in my head they are not. Will see where else I can take this…..

      Like

  1. If you could see the expression on my face when I finished reading, I know you’d be pleased that your story achieved what you wanted. Reminds me of the (seeming) spate of parents-killing-children stories of the last several years. Welcome and well done!

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love dark storytelling. Great job. I especially like the contrast of the hurt toe making him cry and not struggling when he drowns – it’s a great view of childhood ignorance.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! Definitely a bit of a sharp turn there and reading through the comments exactly what i imagine you were hoping for. Have a whole bunch of people wanting to know more which makes it a very effective piece of writing i would say.

    Well done
    love brett fish

    Liked by 1 person

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