At this moment I’m super annoyed as I spent the last 20 minutes writing a really great post and then my computer froze. GAH!! I’ve been given a new opportunity in my life, to follow my dream. I’m afraid though, that I will fuck it up, that things will turn out as they always have done in the past. Basically that it will all look amazing and then BANG it’s ripped away from me. We’re approaching Imbolc and I’m reminded of this time last year, when I went to my first ritual. Imbolc is a time of new growth. The seeds planted in the previous Autumn are starting to sprout and push above the ground. I could view this Imbolc as being the same as last year’s, but it isn’t. Things HAVE moved on. We often see life as a circle, because we see a lot of things working in a cycle. But a cycle is not the same as a circle. A cycle has aspects of the same process but is never the same twice. Circles tread the same ground over and over and over again, a cycle does not. In this respect, cycles are actually spiral in nature. We perceive the turning but fail to notice the subtle differences from year to year, or situation to situation. I am guilty of this. I can be very negative and always think that history will repeat itself. But it can’t! What’s past is past. Water has flowed under the bridge we call life and we cannot go over the same path twice. We might walk parts of that path again, but NEVER do we take the exact same course. We may have to relearn lessons, in a karmic sense, but even this is not entirely circular – we learn something new each time the lesson is presented, the path changes – NOT a circle. Spirals, by their nature, cannot go backwards, they cannot retread the same road. Spirals indicate a moving forward, ever advancing. We don’t notice this usually, so assume we are on a circle, going around and around. The only time we can see the spiral is if a massive shift occurs. Something happens to bring our viewpoint out, to see the bigger picture, only then can we truly see the pattern our life is taking. I’m currently in a position where I need to recognise life as a spiral, not a circle. Shit has happened, but it is over and done with, it won’t happen again. I need to teach myself this, and believe this truth. Life cannot return to what it was. Move forward.